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Why I Won’t Officially Bury NJFM

NJFM Not RestingFrom time to time I remember the good old days of NJFM. I think those were my happiest blogging days. I still have several blogs online, but NJFM was always my favorite. Why? Because I was able to just be me. I didn’t worry much about SEO and political correctness; I was just me. As I learned things about online writing, I shared it here on my blog.

Sharing here on NJFM was purely for selfish reasons. As I’ve mentioned before, NJFM started because I needed one place to keep my notes of all that I learned. I needed a place where I could always find things if I needed them. The blogging format offered the organization and searchability I was looking for. Apparently, other like-minded folks found my ramblings to be useful. As such NJFM evolved into a community.

Things Changed on Several Fronts

When NJFM was born my children were young. They were in elementary school so when the school bus picked them up, I began my writing day. My writing day ended when I heard the school bus pulling up to the corner stop. I did manage to squeeze some writing in late in the evening after all was quiet, but the predominance of my writing occurred while they were in school.

As they grew up, their schedules changed and so did mine. The odd thing about being a parent is you realize your children are getting older, but on the flip side you also witness your own parents getting older. Your children become more independent and parents less so. You enter yet another phase of life.

Changing to Accommodate Life’s Changes

With the changes in my personal life, I found it increasingly difficult to maintain a writing schedule. My ability to squirrel away quiet time to allow my inner flow to flow was nearly impossible. Not being able to express myself creatively through writing, I opted for a more physical expression in the form of refurbishing furniture.Staring out of a Window

For some reason the time I spent engaged in the physical act of hammering, sawing, painting and using power tools was given more respect than the time I spent sitting quietly in a room contemplating and writing. While engaged in the act of refurbishing, I was allowed to complete project after project with minimal interruption.  However, my time spent sitting at a computer was fair game for interruption. Rather than fight the system, instead of writing I worked on furniture.

And Life Changed Again

In the past few months life changed yet again. It changed in such a fashion that I could now find that quiet time. I can find uninterrupted time to contemplate, visualize and write. The funny thing is, I didn’t put two and two together until one day as words were coming to me (when you’re really in the flow, you don’t search for words, they come to you), I was prompted to review my journal. After reviewing entries from the last two years, I was able to connect the dots. I started losing interest in blogging right around the time when a few life situations occurred and my time was no longer mine. Being knee deep in the situation, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

Drip, Trickle, FlowGeraldine

Recently, ideas have been popping into my head. It’s been a long time since I wanted to sit in front of the computer to actually write something. When the urge hits, I b-line to the computer and put my ideas down. It’s a good feeling. The flow isn’t quite where it used to be, but if I “Don’t fight the feeling,” as Flip Wilson’s character Geraldine used to say, I’m sure things will begin to flow freely again.  In the meanwhile, I’ll take what I can get.

This whole long story is the reason why I won’t officially bury NJFM. The Internet has changed quite a bit since I last posted on this blog regularly and it will continue to change. NJFM, however, is like my pair of comfy bedroom slippers. Things will change, but at a pace that’s comfortable for me.

What direction will NJFM take? Who knows. I’ll let my inner flow determine that.

Trying Something New

Below is an audio of the above post. I haven’t quite figured out how to use audio editing software as yet, so this is the raw first and only take.

{ 16 comments… add one }
  • Prerna Malik March 10, 2016, 8:21 am


    SO happy to hear NJFM is going to be around. Y’know it was one of the first sites I came across and even, posted on 😉

    I recently shut down The Mom Writes but only because I have a MUCH bigger vision of where I want to take Content Bistro, that’s our biz baby 😉

    I feel like we have so much of catching up to do… I’ll email you this weekend, because this comment wouldn’t do justice 🙂

    But again, YAY for blogging again and for NJFM days!!

    • Felicia March 10, 2016, 1:20 pm

      It’s sooo good hearing from you, Prerna. I see you’re doing very well with Content Bistro. I’m so happy that it’s all working so well for you.

      I understand why you shut down The Mom Writes. We all evolve and grow and as you said, you have a much larger vision. As always I wish you the best and am looking forward to catching up.

  • Marcel Alexander Silvius March 10, 2016, 9:52 am

    As I get older, I can understand a little better why you stopped and why you’re starting again, and identify with the struggle to find the flow. I used to have three beers, watch a movie, smoke a cigar and then the writing would really flow. Now, I fight tiredness so much that any alcohol before writing would kill it then and there, I seem to be only able to write in the mornings or afternoons and since cigarettes became a habit, I have had to quit smoking altogether. Now my inspiration after being away from the keyboard only comes from discipline, healthy eating, and a constant search for the enthusiasm for writing that used to come so easily. The passion is still there though, and I do produce, albeit slowly, and I am working on my first novella. It’s not great, but it isn’t bad and I know it is decent and I am happy with what I am doing as it is completely intentional and focused. Before when I wrote, I loved the time, I loved what I wrote, but it was because my circumstances allowed it. Now I am working on changing my circumstances and my character to write the way I love. Still miss those awesome days when I was more free!

    I am really glad you are still here, and that I get an subscription email once in a while, whenever I read your articles, I am either nodding my head or learning or I simply enjoy the intimate way you write that makes me feel I am hearing from a best friend – a true fellow writer.

    I was in a used bookstore I just discovered and tried to talk to a self published author about her book that she was placing in the store and she completely ignored me. This was the opposite of what I expect when you meet a like minded person – a fellow writer on the same page so to speak, independently publishing.

    All that to say that I look up to you because of the way you carry yourself on the page, and yet are still able to reveal your inner thoughts and workings in a way that relates to your readers, or at least me.

    Thanks for being here, maybe we’ll be bouncing ideas off each other as we both transition into our respective writing endeavors.

    Speaking of bouncing ideas – what do you think of pen names? There you go, I thought I would get the ball rolling.

    And if you should pursue writing again the same way as before, how has your view of blogging changed or has it stayed the same? Particularly in the context of self promotion as an author and blogging content that is relative to the reader and blogging content that is not relevant.

    • Felicia March 10, 2016, 1:27 pm

      Hi Marcel,

      I’m so glad you took the time to comment. 🙂 It seems we’re traveling on the same road. It does me good to know I’m not alone.

      When I read your comment about the author in the used book store, I just shook my head. It can’t hurt to take just a few minutes to chat with fellow writers to offer a word or two of encouragement.

      My views on blogging remain the same. I never got into self promotion and still have a hard time of it. My No Job for Mom Facebook page was recently unpublished by Facebook due to lack of activity. That tells you how much self promotion I’ve been doing. As it stands now, I don’t see my views on that changing anytime soon.

      Regarding pen names, I’m all for them. I’ve got one that I used on occasion. I might have to dust the name off and start using it again.

      • Crystal March 10, 2016, 3:53 pm

        Had to chuckle at Facebook basically “defriending” your page, Felicia. But you never much liked Facebook anyway, right? Still…

        Hey! Maybe they’ll do the same to me and save me from having to overcome my online-cleanup paralysis. One can always hope, I suppose. At any rate, it’s good to see you here again – I’ve missed you.

        • Felicia March 10, 2016, 5:11 pm

          Hi Crystal,

          Always good to hear from you. And yes, Facebook kicked me to the curb. I had to laugh when I got the email telling me so. I have yet to warm up to using Facebook so being shut down didn’t bother me.

          Good luck with your online cleanup. 🙂

      • Marcel Alexander Silvius March 10, 2016, 9:34 pm

        That is hilarious, I thought FB accounts never died. On self promotion, I will be pursuing marketing techniques. I remember that you did everything you did because you wanted to, so that reminds me to do everything for the passion of writing. However, I will force myself to do a book signing when it gets to that point. This particular bookstore I mentioned really supports self published authors and the owner says that successful signings generate sales. Although she has one author that literally goes and hides in a corner he is so shy! Thanks for your thoughts and stimulating this wanna-be author!

        • Felicia March 11, 2016, 1:58 pm

          I believe your passion will get you through the tough times of self promotion. If you believe in your product, promotion will be much easier. I’ve seen too many people get hung up in self promotion just for the dollars and the product wasn’t worth a thing. They followed the dollars instead of the passion. Following the passion is a long and hard road, but it is enjoyable.

          Best of luck and keep us up to date with your progress.

  • Vidya Sury March 10, 2016, 10:26 am

    Felicia, what a pleasure to see your email! I love that you followed your heart and went with the flow, and will continue to do so. In today’s hectic life, especially on the internet, I think that’s the best thing to do. Still, I would most certainly love to see you back with your wisdom. I’ll always respect you as one of the most sane people I “met” online all those years ago – and it has been some, right? Hugs!

    • Felicia March 10, 2016, 1:31 pm

      A warm hello to you Vidya!

      It’s good to hear from you. Oh my…if I’m one of the more sane people you’ve met, you must have come across some characters. 🙂

      As far as my being back online, it’s all up to the flow. The flow is a precious thing and can’t be forced, as I’m sure you know.

      May the flow be with us all!

  • Loretta March 10, 2016, 3:50 pm

    Felicia, the first thing I did when I saw your NJFM message in my email box this morning was to jump for joy. The second thing was to think — she’s baaack. Then after reading your post (and my balloon deflated), I settled down; because I saw pieces of my psyche reflected in your post and some of the remarks of Vidya, Marcel, and Perna.

    Life changes do interrupt the flow. I thought that when I retired a few years ago, I would devote myself solely to following my passion: write, write, write. Nevertheless, as much as I enjoy writing, sometimes it is a struggle for me to remain consistent with my journal entries and blog posts. Even since I started writing this response to your post, I’ve had three interruptions. Gosh darn it!

    When I am in writing struggle mode, I often remember an article I read years ago. It was an interview with the late Maya Angelo. Maya said that early on when she wanted to write she would often go to a hotel room, have the hotel remove the TV and the telephone and put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door so that she could write without interruption for as long as needed. (How I wish I had that luxury.) Anyway, as writers do – we persevere.

    Your reasons for sharing your thoughts on NJFM may have been selfish (as you stated) but I saw “selflessness.” Your sharing gives education and insight to me and, judging by comments I’ve seen left on your site, many of your followers.

    My friend, I am looking forward to reading whatever you post in the future, whether on the NJFM blog or elsewhere, because I know that it will offer excellent advice and insight into the challenges that we writer’s face. God bless.

    • Felicia March 10, 2016, 5:06 pm

      Thanks for the kind words, Loretta.

      I like Maya Angelo’s hotel idea. Every time I see shows about tiny houses, I always think of them as a wonderful getaway. I still want my secluded cabin in the woods, but a tiny house placed in a quiet scenic location wouldn’t be too bad.

      It feels good writing again. Let’s see where the flow leads.

  • Ignatius March 10, 2016, 10:10 pm

    It’s good to see your update. Life does have a way of interfering with our plans. I hope the words continue to flow for you. You have a voice that is worth hearing.

    • Felicia March 11, 2016, 1:59 pm

      I enjoy hearing from my old NJFM friends. Good hearing from you Ignatius. Thanks for the kind words.

  • Joni March 11, 2016, 8:35 pm

    Oh Felicia…you made my day. I see what you mean about situations. I’ve had tons happen too. I still don’t want to give up writing. I was so happy to see NJFM on my email. I miss so much having internet at home. I’m at my daughters now watching our dear doggie that has been with us 14 years but who is in heart failure and my daughter asked if I would stay with her while she worked b/c we know it wont be long.
    Thank you so much for keeping this site up. I love it.
    God bless,

    • Felicia March 11, 2016, 11:23 pm

      Hi Joni,

      So good to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your dog. They become family members and it is tough to see them suffer. Your daughter is fortunate to have you.

      Hang in there.

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